Arus' Poetry

Lately, all I have been pondering about is dying.
It’s like life has been straining me.
That bitch is too tough —
I don’t think she’s worth fighting.
But I can’t leave. Shit, what about my family?
Truthfully, most of them have not witnessed a dead body.

I have been working and trying.
I’ve been popping my pills, meditating, and going to therapy —
but I can’t seem to find the healing.

So, what if I disappear?
I could run away to the eternal sphere,
maybe cease it in the golden year —
and no, I don’t deserve any tears.

Even playboys have bad days too —
but who the fuck do I vent this to?
I’m used to drowning in my thoughts — that’s nothing new.
I’m good at hiding these runs.
I can’t trust any of you.